Tag Archive: new thought


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20 Bad Habits Holding Good People Back

A change in bad habits leads to a good change in life…

Here are twenty bad habits many of us repeatedly struggle with:

  1. Expecting life to be easy. – Nothing starts easy; everything begins at some level of difficulty.  Even waking up in the morning sometimes requires notable effort.  But one beautiful thing about life is the fact that the most difficult challenges are often the most rewarding and satisfying.
  2. Overlooking your true path and purpose. – What really matters in life is not what we buy, but what we build; not what we have, but what we share with the world; not our capability but our character; and not our success but our true significance.  Live a life that makes you proud – one that matters and makes a difference.  Live a life filled with passion and love.  Read A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose.
  3. Chasing after those who don’t want to be caught. – Do not chase people.  Be you, do your own thing and work hard on your passions.  The right people who belong in your life will eventually come to you, and stay.
  4. Not asking for help when you know you need it. – No matter how far you’ve gone down the wrong road, you can always turn back.  Be STRONG enough to stand alone, SMART enough to know when you need help, and BRAVE enough to ask for it.
  5. Letting one dark cloud cover the entire sky. – Take a deep breath.  It’s just a bad moment, or a bad day, not a bad life.  Everyone has troubles.  Everyone makes mistakes.  The secret of happiness is to count your blessings while others are adding up their troubles.
  6. Holding on to things you need to let go of. – Letting go doesn’t mean giving up, but rather accepting that there are things in life that should not be.  Sometimes letting go is what makes us stronger, happier and more successful in the long run.
  7. Spending time with people who make you unhappy. – People can be cruel, and sometimes they will be.  People can hurt you and break your heart, and sometimes they will.  But only YOU can allow them to continuously hurt you.  Value yourself enough to choose to spend time with people who treat you the way you treat them.  Know your worth.  Know when you have had enough.  And move on from the people who keep chipping away at your happiness.
  8. Not making time for those who matter most. – When we take things for granted, these things eventually get taken away.  Too often we don’t realize what we have until it’s gone.  Too often we are too stubborn to say, “I’m sorry, I was wrong.”  Too often it seems we hurt the ones closest to us by letting insignificant issues tear us apart.  Appreciate what you have, who loves you and who cares for you.  You’ll never know how much they mean to you until the day they are no longer beside you.
  9. Denying personal responsibility. – You’re getting almost everything you’re getting right now based on the decisions you have made; and you will continue to receive the same things until you choose differently.  You always have some element of control.  There are always other options.  The choices might not be easy, but they are available.  You will not get a different result until you exercise a choice that forces you to grow by habit, by action, and by change.
  10. Letting everyone else make decisions for you. – Never allow someone or something that adds very little to your life, control so much of it.  You’ve got to stop caring about what everyone else wants for you, and start actually living for yourself.  Let go of the people and things that continuously hold you back and no longer serve you, because you only get one shot at life.
  11. Giving up who YOU are. – Remove yourself from any situation that requires you to give up any one of these three things:  1) Who you are.  2)  What you stand for.  3)  The goals you aspire to achieve.  Read Quitter.
  12. Quitting as soon as things get slightly difficult. – An arrow can only be shot by pulling it backward; and such is life.  When life is pulling you back with difficulties, it means it’s going to eventually launch you forward in a positive direction.  So keep focusing, and keep aiming!
  13. Doing too much and pushing too hard, without pausing. – Plenty of people miss their share of happiness, not because they never find it, but because they never stop long enough to enjoy it.  Sometimes we are so focused on what we want that we miss the things we need most.
  14. Discrediting yourself for everything you aren’t. – STOP discrediting yourself for everything you aren’t.  START giving yourself credit for everything that you are.
  15. Running from current problems and fears. – Trust me, if everyone threw their problems in a pile for you to see, you would grab yours back.  Tackle your problems and fears swiftly, don’t run away from them.  The best solution is to face them head on no matter how powerful they may seem.  Either you own your problems and fears, or they will ultimately own you.
  16. Constantly mulling over past hardships. – You’ll never see the great things ahead of you if you keep looking at the bad things behind you.  To reach up for the new, you must let go of the old.  You are exactly where you need to be to reach your goals.  Everything you’ve been through was preparation for where you are right now and where you can be tomorrow.
  17. Denying your mistakes. – Remember that most honorable people of all are not those who never make mistakes, but those who admit to them when they do.  And then go on to do their best to make the wrong things right.
  18. Expecting your significant other to be perfect. – Remember that you will never find a PERFECT partner to love you in the exact way you had envisioned, only a person who is willing to love you with all that they are.  Someone who will accept you for who you can and cannot be.  And although they will never be PERFECT, finding a partner like this is even BETTER.  Read The Mastery of Love.
  19. Focusing on the negative. – Positive thinking isn’t about expecting the best thing to happen every time, it’s about accepting that whatever happens is good for this moment, and then making the best of it.  So stay positive, and hold on to what’s truly important.  Let your worries go.  No matter how you look at it, some outcomes just don’t make sense right away.  Choosing to carry on with your goals through this uncertainty is what matters.
  20. Never allowing things to be good enough. – We are human.  We are not perfect.  We are alive.  We try things.  We make mistakes.  We stumble.  We fall.  We get hurt.  We rise again.  We try again.  We keep learning.  We keep growing.  And we are thankful for this priceless opportunity called life.

Photo by: Luigi Caterino

Marc and Angel’s blog can be found at the following link:

http://www.marcandangel.com/2012/05/03/20-bad-habits-holding-good-people-back/

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30 Gifts to Give Yourself

The following article was adapted from the original which can be found on the web at :

Marc and Angel Hack Life
in Practical Tips for Productive Living,
30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself.



When you allow yourself to take care of you, loving yourself as much as anyone else, being good to yourself, and approaching life from a positive perspective, you will find peace and joy that last through any circumstances.  A sense of humor helps, too.

As Maria Robinson once said, “Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” Nothing could be closer to truth. As you begin this process of transformation the following road map may help. The following ideas are not intended to be used as New Year’s resolutions, for once a resolution is broken it is gone.  Rather these are goals at which to aim.  Track your progress and let that be your success.

Gift List to Yourself:

1. Only spend time with people who build the positive in you and you will improve your self-esteem.

Life is too short, so spend time with people who energize and increase the happiness in you. If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you. You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot. So make sure you are spending your time with  someone who continuously appreciates your worth. Spending time with people who don’t appreciate you will eventually lower your self-esteem.   Remember, it’s not the people that stand by your side when you’re at your best, but the ones who stand beside you when you’re at your worst that are your true friends.  (And if your true friends have seen you at your worst and accepted you, there is just no sense in scaring everybody else.)


2. Face your fears and you will grow your personal power.

There is no person in the world capable of flawlessly handling every punch thrown at them. We aren’t supposed to be able to instantly solve problems. That’s not how we’re made. In fact, we’re made to get upset, sad, hurt, stumble and fall. Because that’s the whole purpose of living – to face problems, learn, adapt, and solve them over the course of time. This is what ultimately molds us into the person we become.  So, face your fears head on. No, it won’t be easy. But when you don’t face them, you give them power and when you do face them, you take that power back for yourself.  (That monster under your bed turned out to be just a dirty sock anyway, didn’t it?)

3. Be honest with yourself so and you will be able to change anything .

You can lie to anyone else in the world, but be honest with yourself. Our lives improve only when we take chances, and the first and most difficult chance we can take is to be honest with ourselves. You cannot begin to improve your reality unless you see it for what it is right now.  You have to see the path to follow it to the end.   Read The Road Less Traveled.   (Besides, if you never look in the mirror, you can never tell if you have mustard on your chin.)

4. Take care of your own needs and  you will contribute your best to the world.

 The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too. Yes, help others; but help yourself too. If there was ever a moment to follow your passion and do something that matters to you, that moment is now. (If everyone loses themselves, there will be no one left to look for us.)

5. Be yourself and you will fulfill the purpose for which you were designed.

 One of the greatest challenges in life is being yourself in a world that’s trying to make you just like everyone else. Someone will always be prettier.  Someone will always be smarter.  Someone will always be younger, but they will never be you.  Don’t change so people will like you.  Be yourself and the right people will love the real you.  (Anyway, bricks can’t be used as vegetables, and you can’t be used as something you’re not, either.  Besides, someone will break a tooth!)

6. Stay in the present and you will live without regrets or worries, helping rid yourself of depression and anxiety.

 You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading your last one.  Joy comes in the moment, not in the memory or the imagination.  (When you get old and can’t stay in the moment,

people think you’re senile.  Better to practice mindfulness now than spend your retirement eating pureed steak in a nursing home.)


7. Count mistakes as learning instead of failure and you will gain confidence.

Doing something and getting it wrong is at least ten times more productive than doing nothing. Every success has a trail of failures behind it, and every failure is leading towards success. You end up regretting the things you did NOT do far more than the things you did.  Anyway, trying always comes before succeeding.  We are given new days to remind us to just start over.  (Don’t you hate it when a pencil comes without an eraser, anyway?)

8. Forgive yourself and you will become more accepting of others.

We may think we love the wrong person or that we cry about the wrong things.  Yet one thing is for sure:   accepting our mistakes will help us find the people and things that are right for us. We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past. But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future. Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come. (Besides, beating up on yourself sucks all the good energy out that you could be using to do more important things like eating chocolate.  ; )

9. Focus on love, laughter, and pursuing your passion and you will achieve real lasting happiness.

 Many of the things we desire are may be expensive.  But the truth is, the things that really satisfy us are totally free – love, laughter and working on our passions. (Plus, you’ll have more money left to buy presents for someone like, well, say, someone like me.)

10. Look within yourself for true happiness because it is the only place where you will find it.

When you are happy with who you are on the inside, you will  be happy in a long-term relationship with someone else.  You have to create stability in your own life first before you can share it with someone else.  Read Stumbling on Happiness.  (Have you ever been really happy when eating a carton of icecream, but then you finish it and all your artificially flavored and sweetened happiness comes to a screeching halt?)

11. Trust your decisions and act on them and you will build a sense of accomplishment.

 Evaluate situations and take decisive action.   Once you take action, let it go.   Making progress involves moving forward.  You  have to take your foot off first base to make it to second! (And you have to fall down to slide into home.)


12. Take risks and you will build trust in yourself!

Nobody ever feels 100% ready when an opportunity arises because most great opportunities in life force us to grow beyond our comfort zones. Comfort grows with familiarity.  Learn to appreciate the butterflies in your stomach by realizing they are the product of metamorphosis—yours!  (Jack never would have gotten to go up that hill with Jill if he hadn’t jumped over that candlestick first.)

13. Value yourself in relationships and life and you will teach others to value you, too.

Relationships must be chosen wisely. It’s better to be alone than to be in bad company. There’s no need to rush. If something is meant to be, it will happen – in the right time, with the right person, and for the best reason. Fall in love when you’re ready, not when you’re lonely.  Fill your life with service and purpose.  As you learn to love yourself and send it into the world, it will come back to you 100-fold.  (Get a dog as a pet before you get one as a mate.)

14. Keep open to receive love and you will get it.

In life you’ll realize that there is a purpose for everyone you meet. Some will test you, some will use you and some will teach you. But most importantly, some will bring out the best in you.  Each person is unique even when they possess similarities to someone else.  Each person deserves to be evaluated on their own merit, not your memories.  When you close a door, nothing can get past:  not the bad stuff,  but not the good stuff, either.  (If you keep hiding your pistachio icecream under your spinach just because they are both green, you’ll never like either one.  Unless you’re pregnant.)

15. Compete only against yourself and you will be a winner.

 Concentrate on beating your own records every day. Success is a battle between YOU and YOURSELF only.   Don’t worry about what others are doing better than you.  ( Just remember “Bad, bad Leroy Brown.)

16. Count your own blessings instead of everyone else’s and you will always be prosperous.

Jealousy is the art of counting someone else’s blessings instead of your own. Ask yourself this: “What’s something I have that everyone else wants?”  (Addition is always easier than division.  Especially long division.)


17. Be positive and SMILE and you will be filled with and radiate joy!

Life’s curveballs are thrown for a reason – to shift your path in a direction that is meant for you. You may not see or understand everything the moment it happens, which can  make it  tough.  However, when you reflect back on those negative curveballs thrown at you in the past, you’ll often see that eventually they led you to a better place, person, state of mind, or situation.  So smile!  Let everyone know that today you are a lot stronger than you were yesterday– and you will be. (If you lean in and get hit by one of those curveballs, the umpire of life has to let you walk to first base.)

18. Forgive. Let go. Find peace and you will see peace on earth.

Truly live by releasing hate and grudges from your heart.  You will keep from hurting yourself more. Forgiveness is not saying, “What you did to me is okay.” It is saying, “I’m not going to let what you did to me ruin my happiness forever.” Forgiveness is the answer… let go, find peace, liberate yourself! And remember, forgiveness is not just for other people, it’s for you too.  Forgive yourself so you can move on and do better next time.  (It is really embarrassing when you realize you’ve been screaming for someone to let you out and the key is in your pocket.)

19. Fly above the crowds and be the example! Or, as Ghandi said, “Be the change you wish to see!”  and you will change the world.

When you set the standard, you are never lowered to someone else’s level.  (If your elevator doesn’t go to the top floor, you know what everyone will think.)

20. Let go of the need to explain or justify yourself and you will develop faith.

Your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe it anyway.  Just do what you know in your heart is right.  (And you know when you start explaining it will feel all awkward and just keep going on and on and you’ll never be really sure how much explanation is enough so you just sort of start to ramble in one gigantic, run-on sentence.)

21. Take breaks and you will get there faster and better.

The time to take a deep breath is when you don’t have time for it. Breathe in the universe’s unlimited resources and refill your tanks.   If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting.  Sometimes you need to distance yourself to see things clearly. (Running out of gas can mean pushing  your car.  You could get a hernia.  That means surgery and medical bills and boarding your Yorkshire terrier.  Well, it could get quite complicated.)


22. Stop and smell the roses and you will learn to appreciate the many exquisite gifts you might otherwise overlook!

Enjoy the little things, because one day you may look back and discover they were the big things. The best portion of your life will be the small, nameless moments you spend smiling with someone who matters to you.  (And those things that seem like big things might just turn into Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade balloons and float off into the distance, or worse yet, deflate on you.)

23. Celebrate imperfection and you will reach your goals. 

The real world doesn’t always reward perfectionists,but  it always rewards people who get things done. Learn when “good enough” is enough and let it go.  Then you can concentrate more time on the things that do need to be perfected.   Read Getting Things Done.  (Did you ever go into one of those superstores when you were really tired and you forgot your list and you just wonder around forever trying to remember what you need but when you get home, there is always something you forgot?  Yeah.  You know just what I mean.)

24. Aim for the sky and you will learn to fly.

Life is not easy, especially when you plan on achieving something worthwhile.  Don’t take the easy way out.  Do something extraordinary. You can only reach as high as your target.  Aim low and that is all you will ever achieve.  Aim high, and even if you don’t reach all the way to your goal, you’ll fly higher than before. (It is a lot more difficult to water ski when you don’t stand up.)

25. Express your emotions and you will have room to grow.

It’s okay to fall apart for a little while. You don’t always have to pretend to be strong, and there is no need to constantly prove that everything is going well.  You shouldn’t be concerned with what other people are thinking either – cry if you need to – it’s healthy to shed your tears. The sooner you do, the sooner you will be able to smile again.  When we bottle up our emotions instead of releasing them, we allow them to grow out of our control.  Releasing and expressing them brings them down to a size that we can manage. (You must know what happens if you just keep stuffing too much inside.  Remember last Thanksgiving?)

26. Take responsibility for your own stuff. (But not anyone else’s) and you will have power to do anything .

The extent to which you can achieve your dreams depends on the extent to which you take responsibility for your life. When you blame others for what you’re going through and you deny responsibility – you give others power over that part of your life.  When you take on responsibility for

others, not only do you deny them their opportunities to grow as a person, you cripple your own soul under a burden you were never intended to bear. (Did you ever get really annoyed with someone else’s behavior only to realize you do the same thing?  No.  Okay then.  Me neither.)

27. Let the universe run by itself and you will set yourself free.

You are not equipped to run the show and are not built to handle the burden.   But making one person smile CAN change the universe.  Maybe not the whole universe, but their universe.  So focus on what is before you to do and not on anyone else’s purpose.  (If you go to do the laundry allow yourself to be distracted by the dirty floor, you are going to be wearing dirty underwear.  Trust me on this one.)

28. Allow your Creator to  sweat the details. Trust and you will rid yourself of anxiety.

Worry will not strip tomorrow of its burdens, it will strip today of its joy. One way to check if something is worth mulling over is to ask yourself this question: “Will this matter in one year’s time? Three years? Five years?” If not, then it’s not worth worrying about. Another way is to ask, “What outcome really matters to me?  What do I really want?”  Then drop everything extra.  (If it is too heavy to carry, do not pack it in your suitcase.  Put it in your brother’s when he isn’t looking.  Then you can tease him about being such a wimp. Good times.)

29. Expect wonderful and you will get wonderful.
Focus on what you do want to happen. Positive thinking is at the forefront of every great success story. If you awake every morning with the thought that something wonderful will happen in your life today, and you pay close attention, you’ll often find that you’re right.  (If you wake up expecting me to have come over and cleaned your house for you while you slept, fat chance.)


30. Live your life from gratitude; all the rest will follow from this one virtue.

No matter how good or bad you think have it, wake up each day thankful for your life. Someone somewhere else is desperately fighting for their own.  Instead of thinking about what you’re missing, try thinking about what you have.  Prosperity can never be realized  if you miss out on the  riches you already have by focusing on what you don’t have and getting what you want will never be enough if you cannot learn to appreciate what you possess right now.  (I hope you are grateful you invested the time to read this article.  I know I am.)

That is the list. 30 gifts that will change your life.  30 guidelines that will make this the best year of your life.  Focus on one or two at a time until they are habit. By the end of 2012, you won’t believe how far you have come.  And if you can learn  to appreciate my sense of humor, then anything is possible.

May joy, peace, love, prosperity and all good gifts manifest in each of us. Blessings.
Jodiebeth Jackson

                                                                                                           

Colors of Angels

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Well, here I am.

Please bear with me as I learn all this new technology.  My teenagers can only spare me so much of their valuable time to explain how to use new-fangled ‘quipment!

Oscar Wilde said, “Be yourself, everyone else is taken.”  What a difficult goal this one sometimes is!  Here in my Crystal Room I ponder how often I allow myself to be bullied by my own inhibitions and ideas of what someone else might think.  And I consider myself one of the more open people I know!  But if I am truly a child of God with His Divine Spirit dwelling within me, what am I so afraid of?  I think the greatest gift we can give to the world is to be just who God created us to be.  How can we possibly fulfill our purpose if we don’t step up to the plate of our own identity?  Just a thought.

So, if, as I believe, writing is a huge part of my divine purpose, won’t I serve humanity better by embracing who I really am?  I think of the most natural people I have known–you know the ones–no pretensions.  They might swear in church if they spilled red cool-aid on the choir director’s white robe.  They are just who they are.  And what a gift they have been to me!  These are the souls towards which I am intrinsically drawn.  As I am writing, here, and in my novels, I believe my writing will benefit from concentrating less on what Sister Bertha-Better-Than-Me (thank you, Ray Stevens) is thinking about me because of what I’ve written, and more on truth.  Truth for myself as I understand it today, and truth for my characters.

On another topic, I have been walking this past week through what I have always called:  The Valley of the Shadow of Death.  This is not a new place for me.  I have been here many times.  Sometimes it feels it gets harder with each loss or possible loss.  But, apologies to King David, I think the semantics have done me a disservice.   Death and loss pile up until I am drowning beneath my own thoughts.  Sometimes I have to be reminded to take a deep breath, let it out, and on the next inhale, breathe in a different perspective.  I have decided from now on I am going to call this valley:  the valley of the shadow of transitions.  Death is forever.  Human souls are eternal.  Those I love do not die; they walk through a door I will one day walk through myself.  This door never closes.  Too much traffic, maybe.  But even though I can’t walk through that door myself, yet, I can certainly meet those on the other side at the threshold!  I am not losing.  They are not dying.  We are just going through life’s changes.  Now, there’s that new breath in and I find it much easier to breathe.  Now I have that peace that passes understanding.  I am getting it.  You probably already had it, but now we can share!

Does this mean I don’t weep or feel sorrow?  Remember that bit about being my true self?  I have been created a feeling, thinking, acting, spiritual being.  I need to fire on all cylinders to be me.  Jesus wept at the grave of his friend, Lazarus, and on the night before he was seized and put to death.  Think not?  I cannot imagine, “sweating as if it were great drops of his blood,”  not invoking weeping.  I’m sure there were many other times, too.  But I have learned that I can weep and still be at peace.  Imagine that!  I’ve experienced it lately and I still can’t believe it!  Feeling bereft because of change and the possibility of someone who makes my days so much brighter not being in that dearly loved vessel of clay where I can reach out and touch and hug makes me weep.  Knowing life is eternal–really spending time in silence with God and knowing it–that makes me weep also.  In gratitude and joy.  How wondrously we are made!  What phenomenal craftsmanship!  And each of us truly unique–no wonder we feel loss at the idea of losing such a one-of-a-kind miracle from our fleshly circle.   Well, that’s the first installment from my crystal room.  See you tomorrow.  And thanks for coming to visit!

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