Tag Archive: New Age


Experience

Experience (Photo credit: djniks)

When someone else speaks their truth and it hurts or makes me furious, I find it is time to go be alone.  It is best not to react in front of that person, but to get by myself and then vent my feelings.  After venting, I need to ask myself what I can learn from this experience.  I can always learn something.  God does not send me experiences, especially painful ones, unless I can learn from them.  Sometimes the experience is only a marker to show me how much I have grown so that I can practice gratitude for prior lessons.  Sometimes it is a warning to show me what could happen if I make certain choices in life.  Sometimes, and I find these lessons the hardest, it is a mirror to show me something about myself of which I may not even be aware, which really wounds or infuriates me when I am on the receiving end.  By being willing to look in this mirror, I will receive the most beneficial instruction because I can truly see where I need to grow the most.

Log jam in Craighall. An old dead tree has cre...

Log jam in Craighall. An old dead tree has created a natural log jam on the Craighall burn. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

These insights are my greatest life opportunities.  I can choose to humbly accept them and work out a plan to improve myself or I can hide from them in fear.  But letting fear win only hides these problems from myself.  They remain glaringly obvious to everyone around me.  I am finding it is far better to admit my issues and move forward than to hide from them and stagnate.  Stagnation works like a log-jam.  Everything builds up behind it until even the water cannot flow.  It will eventually become a dam in my life, preventing anything from flowing forward or backward.  Since a characteristic of life is change, building a dam is a form of spiritual death.

The good news is all death is but the changing point, not the ending point.  The bad news is it is possible to get side-tracked or lost in a change-point for a long time.  When something stagnates for long enough, it begins to rot and stink.  When we stagnate, our lives begin to rot and stink.  We become polluted, sick, dying.

Clearing the jam is the only way to renew ourselves.  Fortunately, many have paved the way through this dam before us and we can walk in their footsteps.  We are never alone on our journey.  While each path is individual, all paths are made of experiences we share in common with our fellow humanity.  There is no single way to clear this jam.  It is up to each of us to find our own best way that works for us.   I have heard some say we need to confront the past.  Some say going over the past just reinforces it.  I think it depends on the person and the issues.  Whatever gets you moving forward, free of burdens, is right for you.   I have struggled a long time with this issue personally and have found, for me, it is usually a matter of learning to love myself more.  The more I love myself, the more I seem able to inherently make the right decisions for myself and the more free I become of the past.  The more I love myself now; the less the past matters.  The more I love myself; the higher my self-esteem.  The higher my self-esteem; the easier it is to examine myself for things I may want to change, or release comments that might hurt me or make me angry because I have examined them and determined they just don’t apply.  When that happens, my next question is am I sending signals I don’t want to send or is this person’s judgement just way off-base in this circumstance?  Loving myself helps me realize that it isn’t always me!  It also helps me forgive someone else when they are wrong.  Including myself.  So, how do I learn to truly love myself?

That, my friends, is another post.  But first I would really like to hear from you.  How do you build a loving relationship with yourself?  I am looking forward to reading all of your responses!

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The Darkened Crystal

What emerges from the shadows?

Image via Wikipedia

“I see through a mirror darkly” . . .–N.T.

The more light I experience, the more sorrow I feel when I come across someone whose inner light is hidden by the dark smudges of negative thought.  I used to be like that person.  I know what it is like to live in a darkness out of which I cannot find my way.  Dealing with someone who dwells in that kind of spiritual darkness can be very frustrating.  I have been experiencing everything from sorrow to frustration to anger.  Keeping my perspective has been a real challenge.  I know how I want to respond, but often that is a far cry from what ends up happening.  So, as usual, when I am struggling with an issue, God in his all-embracing love, follows me around taking notes and puts people and print, music and the comics–his world is my training ground–anything and everything in this universe to work to express His guidance to me.

 

Today was a little different, though.  Today, a woman got up as a guest speaker at church and began talking about a woman she knew.  She described my life verbatim for the past seven years.  Word after word she outlined the details of my life.  She described a woman who became ill to the point of being practically bedridden and wheelchair bound.  Then her mother got cancer  and this same woman was able to get up out of bed to take care of her mother, but afterward, became even more ill than before.  This woman’s husband was even a truck driver.  I looked at my daughters and they were staring back at me mirroring the same open-mouthed expression of astonishment I could feel on my own face.  I had never met or conversed with the speaker.  What is more, she was talking about someone else.

 

She went on to relate how this woman had come to her for healing from many of the same problems that had beset me.  The speaker told the woman she was an extremely powerful creator to have formed a reality so negative that it left her bedridden.  Not that it was her fault, just that with our thoughts, we impact the circumstances of our own lives positively or negatively.  She asked the woman to think about it.  Two weeks later when she met with the client, this woman said she remembered exactly when she created her reality.  She was a giver to everyone; Never said, “no.”  But she felt very unappreciated.  In fact one day she spoke out loud the words that her family probably would never appreciate all that she did unless she was so ill she was bedridden.  (They’d be sorry then, huh!)

 

Love

Image by Noël Zia Lee via Flickr

Talk about God hitting you square between the eyes with a 2×4!  Listening to this story, first I was astonished, then I was overcome with sorrow, guilt, even shame.  But as this good woman spoke, she said that if this bedridden woman could create such a powerful reality from negative ideas–just imagine what she could create when she applied herself consciously to making a positive life for herself and her world!  Then my heart popped open inside my chest and swelled with such gratitude, I was overwhelmed.  This was my awakening, not to the idea that I could change my own life with my outlook– (I knew that!)–but that others were unaware and in such darkness, and I can love them and affirm them to a better place!

If I am powerful enough to evoke such healing in my own life by my mindful acceptance of what God has always had and wanted me to have, how much can I change the reality of my world with my light and love?  As I move myself out-of-the-way, who knows what God can accomplish through me?!  And when I come up against someone who just pushes all my buttons; I can learn to stand and hold to my own space and light and truth.  I have the choice not to participate in the negative.

 

I also don’t have to voice my “lofty opinion” to those who don’t want it or would disagree.  I can just walk in my own truth and look for a way that I can pour my love on the person and shift the negative energy to positive.  When I do not judge–yeah.  I know.  Easier said than done.  I am so good at convincing my self-righteous self  I am not judging, until I fall on my face in  all the crap I’m shoveling.  You probably never do that sort of thing yourself, but I’m good now; so we can share!

So, when I do not judge, but hold peace, I can shine my light and truth for others.  Then in their time–wow, not mine?  Really?  Okay?–they can find their way along their own spiritual path.  When I accept I am not responsible or in control of everyone else in my world things get so much easier.  Deep breath.

Love Love Love

Image by Gregory Jordan via Flickr

Breathing in the very breath of God here in my crystal room, I realize that love is born in fire.  Fire is great for light.  But if you’ve ever used a hurricane lamp, you know that if you turn that flame so high that it is licking the glass; the result will be black smoot that blocks the light from shining forth.  Turn it up higher and things eventually begin to melt, even that black smoot.  It burns away.  But the glass, although a different shape, is left behind sparkling clear.  I don’t need to back away from hurting people.  I just need to patiently stand until our fires burn clear and our lights meet, and more love is born.  One by one we can change the world.  Imagine. . .

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