Tag Archive: Eternity


" State Of Grace "

” State Of Grace ” (Photo credit: gmayster01 on & off …)

Today I am grateful for those rare moments of grace, when life seems to slip from its normal boundaries and rises to the heavens.  Blessings flow effortlessly and endlessly and there are perfect moments when life throbs with the heartbeat of God.  Peace overflows from my soul, flowing out to humanity, cascading on a wave of pure love-energy.  The divine vibrations flowing to me and back are almost iridescent, like heat visually rising from the pavement on a sultry day in July.  I am in sync with all the universe.  I know I am exactly, in that very place in space and time, where my Creator intends for me to be.  I have a purpose to all creation which I am fulfilling just as planned and I can neither falter nor fail.  I am in a state of grace and all my senses make me keenly aware that all of life rises and falls in the Creator’s perfectly orchestrated symphony, rushing through each successive movement until the final crescendo flings its song forth into eternity and I am lost in this music beyond my ears . . . my heart . . . my ken.  It is the music, the joyous, singing music, of the soul of all that is flung wide to the farthest star, echoing back to rest within my breast.  It is a single, perfect, blooming moment of unadulterated grace.  And it is ours.  It is mine.

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Storm in Pacifica, California

I have fallen in love with the sea.  No man or woman has ever loved or felt more passion for anyone or anything.  Every time I am with her I think she is more beautiful than ever before.  She amazes me with her complexity, never the same twice.  One day, she is sunny and tranquil, glittering as a king’s ransom in jewels, another, she is raging, banging against constraints, crashing in turmoil and passion.  This day, she is gray and mysterious, cloaking her secrets in a shroud of fog.  Hoarding all her wealth, then carelessly tossing away treasures from deep within her, leaving them discarded in her retreating wake.  Uncontrollable power rising up, increasing, speeding, rolling to me, undulating in her seductive dance,  indifferently shattering, pummeling against me, then reluctantly, caressingly retreating.  I am awed, drawn beyond my power to resist.  She is my muse, my lover, my religion.  There is nothing I have ever known more like God:  vast, timeless, power beyond conceptualization.  Her waters cleanse my soul, renew my spirit.  There is no problem I have brought to her which she cannot shrink to nothingness next to her ancient, endless, fathomless magnificence.

Give me four sticks with a canvas sheet stretched between and I would live beneath it just to gaze at her in all her ever-changing beauty.  How humbling to see, hear, smell, taste, feel the magnificence of the Creator‘s artistry!  I am face-down in holy worship when I think how He could even conceive the idea of the universal sea composed of all this world’s waters.  Waters washing into one another, touching every life on this planet that has ever or will ever be; swirling, dancing around, over, under every continent, island, iceberg; covering massive colonies of life, mountains, deep abysses, hidden depths we have yet to plummet; and all the while kissing, blending, one with the endless sky.  My God!  I am overwhelmed to tears at the limitless gift of beauty you have given me!  Oh, Lord, I sing your praises with every cell of my being for your great love in giving me the sea.  If I never am with her again, I still will never have enough moments in eternity to express my gratitude for this chance to know and love her.   And through her, to know and love you!  I have seen your face reflected in the sea, magnificent, endless, containing more than my mind can grasp.  And new every day.  And new every day.

Stained glass at St John the Baptist's Anglica...

Stained glass at St John the Baptist's Anglican Church http://www.stjohnsashfield.org.au, Ashfield, New South Wales. Illustrates Jesus' description of himself "I am the Good Shepherd" (from the Gospel of John, chapter 10, verse 11). This version of the image shows the detail of his face. The memorial window is also captioned: "To the Glory of God and in Loving Memory of William Wright. Died 6th November, 1932. Aged 70 Yrs." (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

This article is from the March/April 2009 issue of Unity Magazine.One of the most important questions we can ask ourselves is “What am I?” The answer determines our self-concept, which influences the boundaries of our personal growth and development.

Those who have embraced ancient wisdom teachings, such as Unity, accept that who and what we are is more than what can be seen with our physical eyes or described through the five senses. There is a part of us that can never be endangered or destroyed and is our true nature and being. It transcends our history, human lineage, and false concepts that we have accepted for ourselves. When we live from that awareness, we fulfill the life that God sees when God sees us. It is a life that reflects our divine purpose, in which we contribute our unique gifts and talents to our world.

One person who fully contributed his gift to the world and arguably fulfilled his divine purpose like no other before or since is Jesus the Christ. Yet we are reminded by the apostle Paul that if the Spirit that dwells in Christ Jesus is in you, you too will be lifted up (Rom. 8:11).

We drop the if off the statement because the Spirit that dwelled in Jesus or in any avatar throughout history does indeed dwell in us. We don’t just worship and believe in Jesus, we believe what he says—you are the light, and the kingdom of God is within. When we fully embody that truth, we will be lifted above any circumstance we may face or experience.

Death does not have the final word
The Easter story demonstrates that there is something within us that was here before we incarnated and remains after seeming death. Death is not the end of life, rather the continuation of the life process. Jesus proved this in the great demonstrations known as the resurrection and the ascension. Jesus’ essence was so spiritualized that he was able to say “the Father and I are one.” He was serving as a reminder that there is no separation between us and Spirit. It is the recognition that there is only God; all else is just an illusion.

Resurrection follows crucifixion. No life escapes this process. The Easter story is about an old way being crucifiedso something new can be born. This is not a

Jesus Christ Crucifix

Jesus Christ Crucifix (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

once-in-a-lifetime event. When someone experiences a divorce, the death of a partner, loses a job, or experiences a shift in external circumstances, an old identity dies so a new one can be born.

We look to Jesus as a model for how to resurrect from our own crucifixion experiences. The Easter story is a reminder that no matter what seems to happen to us, it does not have the final word. We can look beyond appearances and recognize that there is a divine plan unfolding. Our task is to hold on to that vision until our life bears witness to truth that liberates us and sets us free.

Accessing the eternal dimension
In the Easter story, Jesus gives us clues on how to access this eternal dimension and spiritualize all aspects of our life. To help us with this process, we ask, What did he do? What was he thinking? What was his way of being in the world?

We start with the realization that he prayed all the time. He often stole away from the masses to keep his communion with Spirit high. He did this as a way of life and not just in an emergency. Nowhere in the Scriptures does it say, “There was an emergency and Jesus went to the mountain and prayed.” No. He prayed all the time and, as a result, when the big moments came, was “prayed up.”

Since he was in constant communion with the presence of God, when seeming betrayal in the form of Judas took place, Jesus was ready. Note: it was a seeming betrayal. Judas is often unjustly maligned. But without Judas sacrificing himself, Jesus would not be remembered today. Sacrifice means to

"The Judas Kiss", (Mark 14:45) by Gu...

"The Judas Kiss", (Mark 14:45) by Gustave Doré. Judas kisses Jesus in order to betray him to the guards. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

make sacred. Judas is often condemned as the one who loved Jesus the least. In fact, he may have been one who loved him more than anyone. He served as the catalyst for the glad surprise of the resurrection to take place.

For this purpose I was born
The King James Version of the Bible quotes Jesus as saying during the crucifixion experience, “Why hast thou forsaken me?” However, the Lamsa Bible translation suggests that the original Aramaic language does not say that. In the Lamsa Bible, Jesus says “It is for this purpose that I was born.” This suggests that Jesus was fully aware that this was his great moment. It was the moment he was waiting and preparing for all his life.

It’s like an Olympic champion who has prepared and trained for years to reach the final race and, just before the event, is asked, “How does it feel to be getting ready to perform before thousands of people in the stadium and millions watching on television?” And the athlete responds by saying, “This is the moment I’ve been waiting for. I was doing all the things I needed to do to prepare for this moment—waking up and going to bed early, eating nutritious foods, practicing, lifting weights. All of that was for this moment.”

This was the case for Jesus and is the case in every moment of our life, when we realize that whatever we’re going through, we are not to shirk from any situation or circumstance that seems to overwhelm us. It is in such moments we are to remember who we are spiritually—we are spiritually made in the image and likeness and out of God. When we see from this vantage point, we will stand and say “For this purpose we were born.”

In other words, we can say this situation is an opportunity to go beyond our self-imposed boundaries. This opportunity is calling for the highest and best within us to shine as never before.

So we see the seeming betrayals in life from that vantage point and begin to practice a new way of being in the world. We no longer see ourselves as victims but as the vehicles of pure Spirit.

Resurrection follows forgiveness
Any resurrection is built on the consciousness of forgiveness. Only then can we see the gift in the seeming betrayals in life. When people or situations betray the pictures that we have in our mind of how things should be, that is when we must invoke the consciousness of forgiveness.

So we hear Jesus saying “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do” and examine its meaning. Perhaps surface mind is saying “Please, they knew exactly what they were doing.” Now I’m going to try to forgive them anyway because it’s the right thing to do. However, I’m not going to ever believe they didn’t know what they were doing (whoever they might be).

We can see the Jesus statement of “forgive them for they know not what they do” from a different perspective. Our critics or so-called enemies are really our best friends in disguise. Such people push us to new levels of being and make us do things we wouldn’t likely do without their assistance. Such people make us pray when we don’t want to or when we don’t have the spiritual discipline to do it on our own.

An angel comforting Jesus before his arrest in...

An angel comforting Jesus before his arrest in the Garden of Gethsemane (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

At such moments, those people who seem to be against us don’t know what they’re doing. They’re actually making us become so large for God and access dimensions of our being that we would not be able to touch without their help. In fact, if they really knew how it was going to be so good for us, they wouldn’t do it. So we forgive them, for they didn’t really know what they were doing. They are supporting our own resurrection process and helping our life become fully supported by Spirit. We realize there is only God, and we don’t need anything else.

The now moment is what counts
To further augment our own resurrection and ascension process, there are additional things Jesus the Christ said on the cross. There were two thieves on either side of him, who represent the past and the future. One thief is living in the past when he says to Jesus, “I know I deserve what I’m getting because I know I’ve done a lot of negative things. However, you don’t deserve this, Jesus.” He identified with all the negative things he had done in the past. The other thief said to Jesus, “What’s going to happen to us after this experience?” This thief was lost in the future

However, Jesus being between the two thieves represents the vortex of creativity where heaven is revealed on earth. It represents the here and now. Jesus said “Today, thou shalt be with me in paradise.”

Jesus is saying a couple of things to us. First, it is not the past that determines our current experience; it is our thought about the past determining our current experience. That’s because a thought cannot be in the past. If we have any thoughts moving through our mind—and we constantly do—they are right now affecting every aspect of our being—physically, mentally, and emotionally. Right now we’re either getting younger or aging, depending on what we’re giving our attention to. It’s not the past doing this; it’s our present thinking about the past that is affecting our life. Because we have the ability to name things, we can name it all good, even if we cannot see the good in it right now. When we do that, our life begins to immediately change because as withinso without.

Crosses above Lee Abbey The crosses (represent...

Crosses above Lee Abbey The crosses (representing the crucifixion of Jesus and the two thieves) are used by the Lee Abbey community that owns the land for their Good Friday drama, but they appear to be left in place throughout the year. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Then there are those who hang out in the future worrying about what’s going to happen. They’re concerned about whether their plans are going to work out and projecting their thoughts about the future. But that thought of worry and doubt is in the now moment and becomes the experience they’d been worried about. Our present thinking is simply a sneak preview of our upcoming experiences. If we want to get an idea of what life is going be like, we simply have to look at what we’re thinking about right now.

By saying, “Now thou shalt be with me in paradise,” Jesus is seeking to bring our attention to the present moment. It is in the present moment that the Christ presence returns. When we realize that the Christ is not a person, but that part of God in all of us, we become fully aware that Jesus, the man, is not coming back.  The Christ presence is within us and returns when we allow it to be the activity of our awareness. When we do, we live with awareness: That which is within us is greater than that which is in the world.

Pontius Pilate as a symbol of external circumstances
In the Easter story, Jesus and his experience with Pontius Pilate has a very symbolic meaning for us. When we read about the characters in the Bible, they represent something in or about us. The greatest value of the story is its spiritual rather than its historical significance—although there is history in it.

Pontius Pilate symbolizes the external circumstances that at times seem to be overwhelming. Pilate thinks he has power over Jesus and asks him several

An original card from the tarot deck of Jean D...

An original card from the tarot deck of Jean Dodal of Lyon, a classic "Marseilles" deck. The deck dates from 1701-1715. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

questions. However, Jesus’ response is essentially that the power does not lie with Pontius Pilate, but with God. It didn’t matter what Pontius Pilate did, and ultimately he decided he didn’t want to be bothered, so washed his hands of the whole deal. Jesus in that moment was demonstrating that no situation, circumstance, or external authority figures had any power over him.

In your own life, you may be facing some kind of Pontius Pilate. There may be someone in your life who thinks they can control or manipulate you. You may have a boss who thinks he or she has the final say-so about your prosperity or happiness. People think that if they are in or out of your life, your joy is dependent upon them. You may have allowed them to think that. There may be all kinds of Pontius Pilates running around thinking that they have the final word on your life.

But having fully devoted yourself to God, you’ll say and do what you will; it does not matter. Whatever happens will pull the highest and best out of me because I’m going to sacrifice my littleness so my authentic Self will come through. A new birth is about to take place.

The message for our time
The entire universe is asking that we be our true selves. To do so, we must go within to that which is real, indestructible, has never been born, and can never die. Jesus talked about that when he said “call no one on earth your father.” There is but one Presence, and that Presence is within you. When our attention is on it, it begins to express as our life—our real life.

When we look at our world, we see the seeming betrayals. They are the modern-day crucifixion experiences—man’s inhumanity to man, wars and rumors of war, economic breakdowns, and the challenges we face across the planet. At times we may think it’s beyond hope and it will never get better.

However, it was for this purpose we were born. God transforms our world a little at a time by means of us. God needs us to shine God’s light to make this world a better place. When we let our light shine, we will rise above any crucifixion experience and the entire world will celebrate the Easter of our hearts and we will rise.

Easter is not merely the celebration of the life of Jesus. He reminds us that we are capable of doing even greater things than he did. We love and celebrate the master teacher by practicing his principles, living his teachings, and following his example. When we do, our life shines and glorifies the power, the presence, and the love of God. All of us emanate from that loving presence. When that is our self-concept, we will be able to say as Jesus did, “When you see me, you see the presence that sent me,” and you will experience Easter every day of your life.

Easter eggs

Easter eggs (Photo credit: StSaling)

James Trapp is President and CEO of Unity Worldwide Ministries.

Photo of a cloud illuminated by sunlight.

Image via Wikipedia

There are days when I so miss my mother, my sweet, sweet brother, Scottie, my nephew, Jimmy, my grandmothers and grandpas, my dear friends and my soulmate, my two precious babies that have crossed the veil.  I was ten years old when I attended my first funeral.    I still remember the kick I felt deep in my gut when I saw my Grandpa laying in his casket.  That was the moment true fear of loss gripped me.  From then on I knew that everyone I loved could be ripped from me with no warning.  I never really feared death for myself.  But oh, how I dreaded and trembled at those heart-wrenching losses.   After that, death seemed to hound me.  Both grandfathers and my dad’s only sister passed away all in the same spring.  Then my dad’s mother, my great-grandmother, my brother, my soulmate, my first baby, my old boyfriend, my mom’s mother, my youngest child’s twin, my surrogate father, my nephew, my dear friend, Kay, my mother, and my best friend from college.  Others I knew had passed in between these major losses, including a six-year-old boy whose funeral tore everyone up.  The grief just seemed to compound, never really healing.  Just a wound that reopened and grew deeper with each successive loss.  Pretty soon it seemed I had more loved ones in the cemetery than in the world with me.

English: Visit To The Mother-In-Law Visitors t...

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I do not know how others handle multiple losses.  The truth is I wasn’t really handling them.  My weight spiraled to a top known weight of 380 pounds on my 5’2″, small-boned frame.  Depressed, anxious, ill, confined to a wheelchair and a hospital bed.  I was certain I would soon die too.  It is really only in the past year that I have made my peace with death–learned to embrace it and not fear it.  I have been a christian as long as I can remember,  having accepted Christ at a very young age.  I have always been drawn to spiritual things.  But it wasn’t until my mother passed in 2006, that I began to explore further than the teachings of my local church.  I began to study the Qabalah, the third book of Moses.  My studies expanded to metaphysics, eastern religions and eastern medical practices.  I even delved into subjects like spiritualism, reincarnation–anything, really, that dealt with the Spirit.  Maybe I was trying to find some connection to all I felt I had lost.  I knew there were times I sensed my brother’s and my mother’s presences around me quite distinctly.  Was I imagining things?  Was it wishful thinking?  Was I going crazy?

English: sunlight on water, Bay of Skaill Desp...

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But when I think of how grateful I am to have known them, loved them, been loved by them; I am overwhelmed with the goodness of God. I celebrate these fine saints who served mankind well. I celebrate their spirits, their lives here and hereafter. I celebrate the future when I will not part with them again, but will spend eternity as one. And I celebrate those precious moments when I sense them here with me still. I am swallowed by memories that live so brightly in my soul, for a brief chance of time I am transported across years and the boundaries of death to live with them again. I feel their energy surround me, sense their touch, their smell, the sound of them until I can almost see them before me. And that veil becomes so thin it is almost transparent and I know. I know. Eternity waits for me full of more love than I can comprehend because love never dies. It waits for me on the other side.

This Fulmar rode the wind of an advancing stor...

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I spent a four- month vigil at my mother’s bedside, never leaving her day or night, watching as she faded from this world into the next.  It was an awful, most precious, holy, yet heartbreaking communion with her and God.    Yet there was a sweetness to each moment we stole from death.  We had all fallen asleep the night she passed, on the couch, on the floor, and in a chair by her bed.  I startled awake looking immediately to her bed where a nurse bent over her with a stethoscope.  She had just taken her last breath.  What was it that awakened me?  What awakened my brother just seconds after me?  I believe it was the spiritual being of our beloved mother, pausing to kiss us each goodbye before winging her way to heaven.  I remember leaning down the day before and whispering into my mother’s ear, “Do you see him, Mama?  Can you see your boy in his red sweatsuit?  I am sure he’ll be right next to Jesus!”  And I watched in amazement as her eyes panned back and forth behind her closed eyelids, searching some plane I could neither see nor to which I could  go.

Today, as I was walking through the surf  on the beach, I was reflecting on the sheer exhultant joy I feel to be up, walking, free of the wheelchair in which I sat for seven years.  What effervescent euphoria this freedom is!  The icy tide rolled over my feet as my toes pressed into the sand, the sensations welcomed by me to the depths of my soul.  I felt the same as I did when I was 16 and my parents handed me the car keys for my first solo drive.  Freedom!  I am free of that broken body that had held me prisoner all those years.  That is when it hit me.  This must be what death feels like.  Free at last from an earthly vessel that holds us back, we must fly heavenward in sheer joy at being set loose.  Suddenly, death changed for me.  It is not a losing, but a winning.  My mother must have soared to be unchained from a body that was so sick.  Her light shining full-beam, undimmed by flesh, unfettered by time or earth.   Stopping to kiss each of us, did she do cartwheels in the sky, zooming over like a shooting star?  As I watched the seagulls dance in the waves, I could see my loved ones dancing on the light-waves of energy eminating from their beings.  What a party must be going on next door!

English: Aurora Borealis (1865), painted by Fr...

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Do not fear to lose your loved ones; they are always with you.  Do not fear for them; they wing their way across the heavens, liberated from bondage.  Darting to and fro with the frolick of a child splashing in a puddle of  water, they must course through time and space with a freedom for which our own souls must somehow long like some dimly half-remembered, fantastic dream.  And they fly through the love of every soul who has ever drawn breath, basking in the warmth and light, multiplying it with their own, and waiting joyously for the arrival of the hour of our change.  Death is not separation.  Death is union.  Death is not loss.  Death is love.  Death is not the end.  It is a new beginning.  It is the answer to every prayer every person has prayed since the dawn of time.  Death is true life in disguise.

When Pigs Fly (album)

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   What was the attraction?  Was it the sound?  The jolting, shrieking, squeals or the snorting, snuffling, shameless grunts of contentment and joy?  Perhaps it was the imbalance of  those little eyes, big wet snout, pointing ears on a small head; the short, stubby legs and the huge, rotund body all set off with the incongruity of that festive, curling-ribbon of a tail?  What was God thinking anyway, to adorn an animal that wallows in the mud with such a flourish as that tail, like each was a gift to be opened.   A very stinky present indeed!

     Or maybe it was the “p” sound my brother always found so funny.  “Pig”, “pork”, “pee-yew”!   Was it some divine joy in an animal that was so unabashedly, unashamedly just what God had created it to be?  A filthy animal no longer “unclean”?  Just like us:  born-again and new?

     I believe my brother, Scottie, often had a better grasp of God than I will ever be capable of getting.    “Come as a little child” . . . “a little child”  . . . “a little child”.  He was God’s perennial child:  his mental retardation and damaged heart, blessing and cross.  God’s gift to show me I need to stop trying to make life more complicated than it is.  A cross he bore as he suffered in pain so bravely.

     Whatever the attraction, Scottie loved pigs!  LOVED THEM!  He bubbled over and laughed out loud at the thought of them.  Joyous laughter I can still hear even though it has been 10 years ago today since my brother went to be with his Jesus.

     Maybe Scott knew that our life on earth is like the prodigal son eating pig‘s scraps–and we are only passing through this life on our way to an eternal party with our Father.  Nobody loved a party more than Scott.  Nobody kept a holiday better than him.  Maybe he knew they were just preludes to heaven.

     What possessed him that day in K-mart in Cranberry, Pennslyvania, when he grabbed that pig cookie jar off the shelf?  Walking him back to my mom from the restroom.  I had never seen him take off like that:  his stiff leg swinging out as fast as he could move; laughing, running, looking over his shoulder with an ear-to-ear grin as I raced to catch up with him.  Then his satisfied smile as he reached our mother first and deposited his prize in her buggy, both of us panting; my mom looking at us like we were crazy.   It was the only thing Scott had ever picked out in a store.  Little did we know we were witinessing the beginning of a life-long love affair!   For  all we knew Scottie was hungry and wanted cookies!  But his pleasure in pigs never died as his personal pig collection grew over the years.  My brother even chose to leave us in the Chinese year of–you guessed it–the boar!

     If you ever wondered why my family is crazy about pigs, now you know.  We werer taught to appreciate their finer points by our best teacher.  Not even 28 years on this earth, yet–like the short life of another great man Scottie adored, his Jesus–they both left behind eternal truths I am still pondering, even years now since they’ve been gone.

     I need to measure Scott’s life, not by how many years, but by how much he gave and taught to everyone.  I thank God for him as I remember him today.  What a priceless, precious treasure he still is to me!  Ever time I see a pig I am filled with bittersweet joy.  And some day I’ll know just why he loved pigs so much.  Up there in heaven:  me and Jesus and Scottie . . . and the pigs.  You don’t think there’ll be pigs in heaven?  Better think again!  Remember, with God, all things are possible.  Maybe my brother, Scottie, was really laughing at a private joke with God:  maybe he knew the joke would be on the rest of us when we see pigs fly! 

I wrote the above article 7 years ago.  A lot has changed since then.  Many of my family, friends, loved ones, even two of my babies, have joined my brother. I am raising my two daughters by myself, something I never would have expected.  My lighthouse, my mother, has gone to spend her days with her beloved son. My touchstone, my best friend, Ed, has crossed over too.  So many lives have gone beyond the reach of my earthly arms.  And yet, they are more present with me today than ever.  I carry their memories, their spirits, their life-lessons with me at all times.  In their passing, they etched themselves indelibly on my soul and heart and have become a part of me.  Part of this realization is maturing spiritually enough to grasp that all creation is one:   one breathing, living celebration of the creative genius of God.  If you don’t believe as I do, that is fine.  But watch out.  I am not just talking spirituality anymore.  Quantum physics has begun to prove ancient spiritual laws.  The next few decades of science should be quite an adventurous trip!

So, what does it change to believe we all are one?  I am, at long last, able to stop grieving and start celebrating.  The joy and love that was given to me is not gone.  I touch it, feel it every day now.  The joy of each life is multiplied in my present; no longer lost in my past.  Whether someone is in this life or the next, in God I can still reach them.  And with the passage of time, I see the completeness of their life-cycle, the perfectness of God’s timing.  Their lives which seemed to end too soon are still living in me.  Their full life still is teaching me, guiding me, giving me wisdom.  I just have to open myself to it.  Each life has become a book  of scripture to me.  A living, breathing, evolving volume of eternal wisdom and treasure to be mined bit by bit.  I pick away at the rock day by day, never knowing what jewel will turn up.  I sense their presence when I am feeling alone.  I see their faces, hear their voices, feel their touch, their energy, revel in both the laughter and the tears.  Through them, I touch God.  And life is not a path of despair.  Life is sweeter.  Precious.  Expanding into unlimited possibilities.   Death is no longer the enemy, the thief, the finality.  It is a doorway to change and choices and new beginnings.  It is just another step in eternal existence.  Our chance to see the unknown.  To solve all the mysteries.   To know all the great secrets.  Now I am not saying I want to rush forward to embrace it.  I am just starting to “get it”  where I am.  But I am no longer afraid.  I am no longer afraid.  Consider that statement to have been shouted from the rooftops of my soul.

And special thanks to Scottie, who dropped the article, “When Pigs Fly“, from its frame today, where it has been hanging for the past seven years.  Just a coincidence?  Seven years to the day?  Sure it was.  When pigs fly.

The Deep Blue Crystal Waters

Stormy SkyWhat a funk I am in today!  Christmasjust doesn’t seem to go according to my plans any more.  I plan a trip; it falls through.  We are going caroling; someone gets sick.  I decide what gifts to make; I can’t get the right ingredients or items I need.  I make my lists, check them twice; I throw them in the trash because my money didn’t work out.  I feel the angry-worried-exhausted-stressed-haunted-grieved-jealous-pitiful-hide-under-the-covers Christmas blues!  I can’t find that quiet inner chamber within myself.  There is way too much internal noise.  My body bears the brunt with pain exploding, making me more irritable.  I need help!

Upset

Image by Jeremy Bronson via Flickr

But I don’t feel like making the effort.  Maybe I don’t feel like I am worth the effort today.  But God has infinite, abundant grace and He puts me in a position where I feel compelled to go the beach for others’ sake.  I don’t want to go and yet it is just where I need to be.  Thank you, God, for my family, who make me strong when I am weak.  And thank you for the divinity I experience by your deep blue crystal waters.  I force myself up, drawn against my will, rolling up my pant legs, shucking off my shoes.  And I am pulled into the biting cold surf.  And I walk alone down the isolated shore lost in  horizon,  sea,  blue,  green, time, and primitive, raw life-force.  It is overcast.  Stormy waves crash the land, beating in a tempest to match my inner turmoil.

I love the ocean on a day like today. Walking in the chill water in my bare feet as the dark, moody waters roll over my legs, pushing me, washing it’s primordial secrets against me, connecting me to the dawn of time. I think about all the places the water touching me may have been: Crashing against the Ivory Coast of Africa while slaves were forced to these very shores, freezing and thawing in the desolate frozen places where the Titanic sank, racing down a sultry South American river giving a life-source to ancient peoples, or evaporated into the heavens, falling in gentle rains or tumultuous, thundering downpours back again upon the earth. I am connected to the universe and eternity in this swelling, swirling sea. I am minute, a speck; I am as broad as the sky. And suddenly the worst of my problems seem to dissolve into the vastness of forever. Peace outside of time envelops me and I transcend this existence. Oh, the sea! And I walk along its shore and life is good.

Moody Sea

Image by jackfraser via Flickr

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